Money Overrides PhDs in Nigerian Campuses

Published on 26th September 2006

“There is nothing more corrupting, nothing more destructive of the noblest and finest feelings of our nature, than the exercise of unlimited power” (William Henry Harrison).

At thirty-five, and almost past the age most Nigerian women would have settled into matrimonial homes -- with one or two kids -- she was just starting out. Well read, well mannered and with an array of diplomas from two Ivy League institutions, she was steadily climbing the American corporate ladder. She is also unusual in that she is one of those who had not had her heart severely broken, and her faith in men shaken. However, how she got into the traps and tricks of a run of the mill Nigerian remains the talk of the town in my neighborhood. Sadly, she is not alone. There are thousands of men and women like her who are taken, and used as a free ride to the UK, Canada and the US.

Today, a sizeable number of Nigerians who return home for a spouse do so at their own peril. Danger and deceit abound as marriages have become business ventures. Poverty, unmet needs and desperation are behind the vast majority of those who say “I do.” Coming to America is a ticket, an investment that may yield countless returns and benefits for in-laws. Rare is the woman or man that would reject, say, an American-based suitor -- not minding whether the suitor is financially able, educated, or product of a good home and moral character.  What matters is the destination: to escape the poverty and fetidities in their lives. 

Believe it or not, Nigerian metropolitan areas and campuses of higher education are a breeding ground for semi and professional prostitutes, call-girls and gigolos who would not have survived the harsh Nigerian economic landscape -- save for the services they render money-bags, sugar daddies, sugar mommies, politicians and rogues. It is from this puddle that most return to find partners. You see, these are men and women who are used to being pampered. Their wants and needs are taken care of. Most do not have legal means of income other than the sexual and sex-related services they provide. See for instance, areas in and around UI, UNILAG, UNIBEN, UNIJOS, UNIPORT, NSUKKA, LASU, EKPOMA, ABU and the rest.

The really affluent ones even take summer vacation abroad. They vacation in Germany, France, the UK, South Africa, the United States and wherever else they fancy. Some have seen the world three times over. Most have tasted the best food and wine money can buy. They wear the best clothes from Milan and all spots in between. They have the cars, jewellery and fat bank account to show for their deeds. Spoiled and rotten; yet, it is from this pool that many struggling Nigerians return to marry from. Sadly, most of such marriages do not survive for long.

But really, what does a struggling Nigerian have to offer a woman who has seen it all and done it all? By the time they get here, the novelty and wonder of relationship would long have dissipated. And most of the spouses would come to meet their partners in a one or two-bedroom apartment, driving a jalopy, working the grave-yard shift; and working just to pay the bills. Seeing all these “abnormalities” would make them wonder “which kind yeye life this person dey live sef?” And they would call their colleagues (back home) to complain and wonder why they fell for a struggling laggard.

True, some would adjust and accept their fate and make do with what they have. They will “cool down,” cooperate, and plan their future in concert with their spouses. Others would feel bitter, feel betrayed and start scheming. With their greencard or citizenship in hand, they will take flight. Whether they stay or not -- for most of these spouses -- their primary goal becomes how to take care of their mom and dad and siblings.

For those who fail to understand, and fail to work around the harsh reality of life in the West (especially in America), depression and bitterness will set in. Some will feel trapped and die a slow death. Others will find ways to kill or maim their spouses.

That is life. Life in the West. Life in America. America is the land of God and gods, a land for the believers and non-believers. It is a land of dream merchants, of fabulists, tale-spinners; and of high and low achievers. It is also a land of pipedreams, broken dreams and untold anguishes.

By Sabella Ogbobode Abidde

A rejoinder from Chizoma Nchukwu of Children of the Earth follows below

I quite agree with Sabella.  This is what is happening for real in my environment. Where will one start from?  In the universities, like the writer rightly stated, a man can sleep with two or three girls a night with N5000.

Indeed the place of higher learning has been turned into a brothel. I pity men who come from the UK, USA and Canada to pick them as wives. They go there, see the environment, where girls have the upper hand and where women have more rights than the men in marriage. Some of them go as far as trying to kill their husbands just to inherit their wealth and property. 

In Nigerian higher institutions, it is easy to walk in and as long as you are brandishing money, you become king. Gigolos will just call these girls for money.  They go as far as giving their photographs to these gigolos as samples to their prospective customers just for money. No one cares about dignity, family background or religion. What matters is cash. It is now a thing of "Money for Hand, Back for ground.” It is money money money all the way. At the end, these innocent men both home and abroad end up paying for all.

My brothers, take care!

 


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