Letter to Muhoozi Keinerugaba on Retirement

Published on 31st May 2022

Dear Maj. Gen., Muhoozi Keinerugaba,

You don’t know me, but I know you. I’m your father’s enthusiast from Tanzania that cloned him. I thus, am a part of your extended family.

When I read somewhere that you were retiring from the Uganda’s People’s Defence Force (UPDF), first, I thought it was April Fools’ day. But again, this wasn’t April. It was more than that given that you’re not the type that makes pranks even in your chirps.

My friends on the ground laughed at me to believe in such a chicanery, when I made frenetic calls to Kampala to confirm.

I wandered how you’d retire before your father who has been in the service for longer time than you. If you would consult your dad and mom before making this decision, I imagine what their reaction would be.

The news about your retirement meant a real deal. Who wants princes in a democratic country?  Who wants to be referred to or viewed as a prince who depends on his father’s office or power while s/he’s an able matured person? Who wants to be accused of eating paupers’ taxes simply because s/he’s related to the big man or woman in upper echelons of power? Who wants to replicate or see what once happened in Libya where Muamar Gaddafi’s kids were like princes who exploited the public simply because their father was president?  Do you know what happened to them?

Considering how brutally they were killed, nobody would pray for such a troth even for his sworn enemies. Now, you know. I love your dad dearly. The step you wanted to take made me really feel bad. I thought that the devil had duped you my young brother that you make your own niche come rain or shine but by following rules.

In Tanzania, the founding father, Julius Nyerere didn’t sanction his children and friends to exploit his power. Because of this, he didn’t fear to retire and when he did, up until his death, he is venerated. Nyerere’s children’s have never fled Tanzania since they didn’t cling unto their father’s back to exploit the Tanzanians.

In Uganda, look at Jaffar Idi Amin. His dad didn’t prepare him for grabbing power or exploiting the public. Despite the dad’s macabre and murky history, his kids are free Ugandans going about their business without any trepidation of retribution.

What’s the upshot? One can be a dictator and still his kids can live comfortably after he’s gone. Therefore, after reading the story that you’re now freeing yourself from your father’s shadow, knowing this, I decided to pen this letter to congratulate you on this milestone. I’ve a couple of reasons why I’m penning this letter.

Firstly, I was sick and tired of hearing you being badmouthed that you rose in the ranks without merit since you’re the son of the C-in-C of the UPDF, who also is Uganda’s long-time President. I thus thought your retirement would put all such things to rest once and for all.

Secondly, I also heard some fibbers–––who hate you and pretend to know everything about you and your father’s regime–––saying that you’re eyeing presidency soon after your dad retires, or anything happens–––God forbid. They added that you’re testing the waters to see how Ugandans and the world will re-join so that you can take another move. This also sickened me since a public office isn’t a private estate.

Your retirement would free you and Ugandans who think you are after power. Who wants monarchy in a democratic and secular country?  Retiring from the roles you’ve been playing in your father’s regime would portray you as an undisciplined kid who goes against the power that his dad loves badly, and a rebel who doesn’t want to live on the back or in the shadow of his father or mother. That’s why I’m commending you on this once again.

Dear Gen., I know you’re still young to retire. What are you up to? Should we wait for another shocker?

Given that your joke’s already shown you how you can do what you want, please advise the mzee to think about retiring from the statehouse so that the new blood, chiefly you, can come in with new thoughts. He needs to be freed so that he can play with grand kids. After all, he’s nothing to worry if you’re the one who’s to continue with his job. Cheers bro.

By Nkwazi Mhango

Mhango is a lifetime member of the Writers' Alliance of Newfoundland and Labrador (WANL), an expert in Terrorism and author of over 20 books among which are Africa Reunite or Perish, 'Is It Global War on Terrorism' or Global War over Terra Africana? How Africa Developed Europe. He has contributed many chapters in scholarly works.

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